With Memorial Day behind us, spring has officially sprung, and “cuffing season” is a thing of the past. We are on the cusp of summer and while it is warming up outside, the temperature isn’t the only thing rising! Accepting that well, your man has eyes can see will be one of the most stress-reducing things you can do. If you begin to make your man feel bad that he caught a quick glimpse or stared a half second too long, then he may withdraw and become disconnected because he is feeling increasingly uncomfortable. Not, exactly saying that he should feel comfortable but considering that the more someone is deprived of something the more they may seek it out. Standard rule: look but don’t touch. To take the obscurity out of the situation, you can take it a step further by acknowledging it. And let’s face it, some of the things that we see ladies-and I use that term loosely-wearing during the warming months can definitely raise a few eyebrows, whether it be because of shock or just plain old confusion!
The best thing you can do is to make light of the situation. A great coping skill that you can have is to exude your confidence by sharing a positive comment to your man about the next girl. Being overtly jealous and confrontational is played out like tapes and CDs…for real. If you are trying to cultivate a healthy relationship, then you have to be a model of it. Being able acknowledge that another woman is on point shows that you are secure in your relationship and that you are also secure in yourself.
When you are unable to give a compliment to another woman it shows that 1) you feel threatened by the mere presence of her and 2) you feel that what you are bringing to your relationship can easily be replaced. While you may come across women who are genuinely gorgeous and maybe even at first glance somewhat intimidating-you have to know they do not have what you have. When you are assured and confident in your relationship you can sincerely delivery a compliment another woman. When you give that compliment you may have to implore a little self-talk. Self-talk is one of the best ways to build and maintain your confidence; essentially you are cheering for yourself. While you may compliment her, you also have to know, believe, and say to yourself that “it’s my stride, my smile, my success, my beauty, my spirit, my swag, (insert your best asset here______) and the depth of our connection that makes me incomparable and certainly irreplaceable”. Try it.
Although you may play it cool by positively commenting on another lady this season, this should not be a gateway for your man to salivate at everything that walks by in a skirt! Bottom line; you must be sure to maintain appropriate boundaries as you cannot let this situation become blatantly disrespectful. Having your man make suggestive and lewd comments toward other women can be the biggest source of stress in your relationship. There should be to be a level of respect that is maintained at all times. After all we are addressing his potential wandering eye not his potential to get kicked to the curb, and if it gets out of hand you can always remind him of that!
So ladies, how do you deal with the warm weather and the wandering eye? What coping skills have you used? Were they helpful?
By: Essence Cohen Follow on Twitter @Ess2DaBest