Never Should Have Loved Me: How to Deal with The Past

dont find love wait for love to find youYou never should have loved me You never should have touched me, You never should have Never should have told me you loved me and you would never leave me. 'Cause everything that you would do It made me fall in love with you, Until you left and you made that mistake Now I can't take you back if I wanted too”

Have you ever listened to a song and it felt as if the artist was singing your life story? R&B music artist, Ashanti spoke truth with her new song Never Should Have. The song is telling an EX that they should have never made her fall in love if they didn’t have intentions of catching her. The lyrics are deep and I am sure many can relate. I want you to think about a past relationship that you wanted to work so badly, how did it make you feel when it didn’t? Like many, it is not a pleasant feeling. Emotions are high and you are left wondering, ‘what happened?’

Dealing with the past can never be an easy task especially if it happens to pop back up in your present. Out of sight out of mind works wonders but what happens if it comes back to you? What do you do if your past reappears? Ashanti made a powerful statement with her lyrics... "until you left and you made that mistake, now I can’t take you back if I wanted to” WOW that’s powerful.

So your past is back, do you let them into your present? This is a question many people struggle with trying to answer when an EX reappears. Those warm fuzzy butterfly feelings may reappear, the day dreaming of “back in the day” and reminiscing of old times may occur. But as you sit and think of all the positive things, a light bulb goes off and now all of the reasons why it DIDN’T work begin to replay in your mind. Now what? Here are a few tips with dealing with an EX:

1. Nothing: They were left in the past for reason, perhaps they still belong there. You do not owe them anything. Do not feel obligated because they had a “wake up” call.
2. Listen: Sometimes the past may reappear because they have some things to get off their chest. Receive as much as you want, but remember you owe them NOTHING, do not feel forced to listen to their reasons and/or excuses.
3. Think: Consider is this what you really want. Do you want them back into your life? It is worth the risk? How is your life currently? Remember, time has pass and now that you have a life outside of this person, do they fit in? Contemplate everything before jumping to any conclusion.

Many times when the past knocks on the door, we are either too quick to slam it or too eager to let them in. Finding that harmonious median can be a tricky task. When the past reappears think about how that person makes you feel versus how they made you feel. Is it worth a second chance? Do you feel like they changed? Mistakes happen and people sometimes have to leave a situation to realize what they had BUT as I always say if it has nothing new to say, flip your hair and On to the Next One! #FlirtyFriday

Tileah Aisha

Check out Ashanti's new music and video here

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