Sex

…but he’s still not my mine…

situationshipsDays have passed, laughs and giggles have passed, mutual sexual favors have passed, two sided OR maybe one sided feelings have passed, and here we are several months in still wondering, “what are we?”  Have you ever been in a quote “relationship”?  What is a quote “relationship” you ask, well a quote “relationship” is when you’re given your beau all the perks of a boyfriend/ husband yet for all we know you’re just a great friend with benefits to him.  Of course, when he is with you, calling and texting he’s yours but what about when you’re not around, does the world know you’re his?

As I watch reality television and I witness and experience real reality, you will find many women are in quote “relationships” yet uncertain if their beau feels the same. You will find women will spend months and even years in a situationship unsure of where they actually stand in that man’s life.  Now, an easy fix would be to just have the “talk” with the beau and figure this thing out. But I’ve found, some women are even afraid to have the “talk” in fear of hearing the truth, that in fact they are just a friend with benefits.

Are we living in a society where we are so anxious to be in a relationship that we throw morals, values, and even personal satisfaction away just to say we have beau?  If you ever grew up with an older brother or true male friends, you can easily see how they can make one girl feel like #1 but when the “talk” is had, they become mute.  Why is that? Well clearly they just aren’t ready, or perhaps they just aren’t ready for you. Either way, there is always that one woman willing to put up with the situationship when deep down we all know she wants the Prince Charming, Cinderella love story.

Has the stigma of being in your late 20s, early 30s and single oppressed us to the point we will pretend to be happy in our situationship, when we know this is just a waste of time? Has all of the Facebook and Twitter engagement post tormented us to the point we will put up with a half relationship then settle for a non-existent one?

Situationships are great, if both participants agree. However, if you know you want more and deserve more, it’s time to speak up and get what you want.  Reality may hurt but why soothe your ears with lies when your heart knows the truth and truth is, pretty soon you will be asking yourself, “How did it get so late so soon?”- Dr. Seuss

 

XoXo

Tileah Aisha

Different Ways to Surf Board

Is the bedroom aspect of your relationship boring? Do you want to spice up your relationship? Have you tried dancing for your mate?  If not, it is time to try something new.  Maybe it's time to get up on it and ride that surf board. Here are a few ways to set the mood and rocket it til it waterfalls:

  1. Set the atmosphere- light some candles and turn your lights down low, and if you’re really feeling frisky, replace that light bulb with a red bulb.  Yes, I said it. Turn on that red light special !
  2. Bra and Panty Check- time to pull out the Fredericks or Vicky Secrets, whichever you prefer and put on that little doll baby night gown.  Or if you’re really in the mood, just some lipstick. ;)
  3. 4 inch Heels- Yes, put on those high fly pumps! A man loves a woman in some heels. You better work
  4. Fresh Fruit- Grab some strawberries, chocolate or caramel sauce, and grapes. Play around with it. Feed your man, let him feed you, and lick it off
  5. Massage oils- Pamper him with a nice body massage. caress his arms, neck, back and where ever you choose. Tingle those areas that sparks nature
  6. Have Fun- Remember this is your night and you are enjoying the moment

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Workplace Love: Finding Mr. Right in a Co-Worker?

officeRomanceFinding love could all be so simple if we knew exactly where to find it.  Women typically go to bars, gyms, museums, coffee shops, even church in search of Mr. Right.  We are always on the plow searching for Mr. Right, yet we end up finding Mr. Wrong, Mr. Broke, Mr. Married, Mr. Ex Con, Mr. Drug Addict, Mr. Gay on the Low, Mr. Got Too Many Baby Mommas, ugh the list can go on and on. Where art thou Mr. Right?

Monday through Friday we are steadily anticipating for the weekend so we can go out and begin our hunt all over again in search of Mr. Right. But have you ever wondered, “what if Mr. Right was in the office next to you?” “What if Mr. Right shared the cubical across from you?” “What if Mr. Right was someone you’ve seen every day except Saturday and Sunday?” “What if Mr. Right is your co- worker?”

Love in the workplace could lead to awkward situations but on the flip side it could lead to spontaneous consistent fun.  Imagine going to work with your man every day, wouldn’t that be great? You never have to worry about the “baby, I’m working late” message because you know EXACTLY what’s going on. LOL. I am all for finding your Mr. Right in the workplace but there are a few Office Rules that must be discussed before you commit to such a relationship.

Dos and Don’ts of Finding Love in the Workplace: Read more

Being single may be the best option… until “one of THOSE nights” By Guest Blogger

Bulding my empire check lisFor some women, at a certain point in their life it may be best to be single. If you’re grinding out in your career, in school, working towards a goal; these task can hinder a relationship and vice-versa. You are unable to give him the attention he needs, and the time that the relationship needs to grow or even be healthy. The flip side to that would be, you give your all to the relationship, and your goals have to be put on the back burner. This is BY NO MEANS saying that women can’t have it all. I’m simply saying that there are certain stages in life that being single may be the best option. It just may not always seem that way when you are in that stage…

Every so often, there’s “one of THOSE nights” when you sitting at the computer at work. Everyone else is home with their families, and it hits you; Damn, I’m single. You’re not sad, depresses, and/or lonely, but on that particular night, you want company. You look thru your phone and let your mind wonder on who to call; but for those who come to mind, wouldn’t understand that you JUST want company. You want to be held, but not pursued. Maybe a kiss, but not a nibble. Read more

The Slings & Arrows of Outrageous Dating By Guest Blogger

cupidI like to think that every experience has a purpose.  I keep trying to figure out the point of all my twisted dead end journeys down romance lane. I think I've finally found it! The purpose my fellow damsels in-not-so-much distress is to share the journey with you! Hopefully to help you avoid some of my pitfalls but definitely to share some laughs and make sure that your headlights are on as you enjoy your travels.

One of my favorite quotes is "men are like buses, if you miss one the next one will be along soon" (adopted from Wendy Cope). Another is from Maya Angelou, "don't just be an aging female, be a real woman." The combination of the two makes for some really interesting social encounters. I spent a couple of years as a “serial dater” and came across some interesting and amusing “buses” along the way.

Bus # 1 is Mr. I'm Not Ready to Commit but I don't want you to see anyone else. He's the guy with whom you go out to romantic dinners, share luminous laughter, have tons in common, hold hands in the street, spend hours on the phone or staring lovingly into each other’s eyes. He involves you in most if not all of his decision making, constantly tells you how much he values you, but reminds you periodically that he's not ready to consider you his girlfriend. What's this dude's deal & what's the definition of girlfriend on his planet?

The remedy: Listen carefully. He'll tell you who he is and what he's about in the midst of sweeping you off your feet. The mistake that most of we female phenoms make is that we think all that stuff from his past doesn't apply to us in the present. But wasn't our most poignant lesson in social studies class that history repeats itself? Read more