Self Esteem

…but he’s still not my mine…

situationshipsDays have passed, laughs and giggles have passed, mutual sexual favors have passed, two sided OR maybe one sided feelings have passed, and here we are several months in still wondering, “what are we?”  Have you ever been in a quote “relationship”?  What is a quote “relationship” you ask, well a quote “relationship” is when you’re given your beau all the perks of a boyfriend/ husband yet for all we know you’re just a great friend with benefits to him.  Of course, when he is with you, calling and texting he’s yours but what about when you’re not around, does the world know you’re his?

As I watch reality television and I witness and experience real reality, you will find many women are in quote “relationships” yet uncertain if their beau feels the same. You will find women will spend months and even years in a situationship unsure of where they actually stand in that man’s life.  Now, an easy fix would be to just have the “talk” with the beau and figure this thing out. But I’ve found, some women are even afraid to have the “talk” in fear of hearing the truth, that in fact they are just a friend with benefits.

Are we living in a society where we are so anxious to be in a relationship that we throw morals, values, and even personal satisfaction away just to say we have beau?  If you ever grew up with an older brother or true male friends, you can easily see how they can make one girl feel like #1 but when the “talk” is had, they become mute.  Why is that? Well clearly they just aren’t ready, or perhaps they just aren’t ready for you. Either way, there is always that one woman willing to put up with the situationship when deep down we all know she wants the Prince Charming, Cinderella love story.

Has the stigma of being in your late 20s, early 30s and single oppressed us to the point we will pretend to be happy in our situationship, when we know this is just a waste of time? Has all of the Facebook and Twitter engagement post tormented us to the point we will put up with a half relationship then settle for a non-existent one?

Situationships are great, if both participants agree. However, if you know you want more and deserve more, it’s time to speak up and get what you want.  Reality may hurt but why soothe your ears with lies when your heart knows the truth and truth is, pretty soon you will be asking yourself, “How did it get so late so soon?”- Dr. Seuss

 

XoXo

Tileah Aisha

Is being #2 actually better than #1?

being mary janeAccording to Mary Jane, YES!!!

If you watched Being Mary Jane this week you received a quick crash course on how being #2 is not so bad, in fact it’s actually better. *ques side chicks applause* The shade was real in this episode when Mary Jane gave a speech in front of her “wishing and hoping he was my man’s” wife.  If you missed the READ, here it is:

I’ve found that being number 2 gives you all the glory of being near the top without all the pressures of the number one spot. The job of any great number 2 is to figure out what the number 1 is missing. What they refuse to see and what they’re doing wrong. So take your time, learn, be patient, get better. You will get where you’re supposed to be if you do the work.  Remember, if you don’t, somebody else will. Read more

Are You Running The Winners Lap?

finish lineIf you know me, or want to get to know me, you will find that I am known for making extreme analogies when it comes to comparing stages of life. When I feel someone doesn’t fully grasps a concept, I try to change the scenario to a level that will make it easier to understand. With that in mind, I started to think about the victory lap in a race. Have you ever watched a race and/or ran in a race, did you ever notice the victory lap that the winners run at the end? Oddly enough, I’ve always pay close attention to the victory lap. Why you ask? It’s because the appearance of victory is appealing to me. I love to see people conquer their goals. The expression of defeating something that more than likely someone said you couldn’t is always attractive.

Have you every conquered or achieve anything? Do you remember your expression? I’m pretty sure it was passionate. When you work really hard at something and it finally pays off you can’t help but be filled with joy. BUT here is the kicker with the victory lap. In order to run the victory lap, it means two points; one, you RAN the race and two, you WON. Those two key factors are very important to understand. In order to get to the point of victory you have to be IN the race, and once you’re IN the race you have to WIN the race. Read more

10 New Year’s Resolutions for Couples

xo

 

2014 is here and the personal resolutions and goals should be in full swing. These goals can range from new diets, going to the gym, making more money, advancing professional, etc. Yearly, we all make plans on what to do and what not to do in the upcoming year.  Making plans is a beautiful concept. It keeps us focused on a major goal and it gives us direction, but what about your relationship resolutions? Have you made resolutions for 2014 as a couple?

Majority of the time we focus solely on our personal goals that we forget to nourish our intimate relationships.  As a couple, together you must work to enhance and grow the relationship.

Whether you are single, married, or dating, here are 10 New Year Resolutions to try: Read more

Being single may be the best option… until “one of THOSE nights” By Guest Blogger

Bulding my empire check lisFor some women, at a certain point in their life it may be best to be single. If you’re grinding out in your career, in school, working towards a goal; these task can hinder a relationship and vice-versa. You are unable to give him the attention he needs, and the time that the relationship needs to grow or even be healthy. The flip side to that would be, you give your all to the relationship, and your goals have to be put on the back burner. This is BY NO MEANS saying that women can’t have it all. I’m simply saying that there are certain stages in life that being single may be the best option. It just may not always seem that way when you are in that stage…

Every so often, there’s “one of THOSE nights” when you sitting at the computer at work. Everyone else is home with their families, and it hits you; Damn, I’m single. You’re not sad, depresses, and/or lonely, but on that particular night, you want company. You look thru your phone and let your mind wonder on who to call; but for those who come to mind, wouldn’t understand that you JUST want company. You want to be held, but not pursued. Maybe a kiss, but not a nibble. Read more