…but he’s still not my mine…

situationshipsDays have passed, laughs and giggles have passed, mutual sexual favors have passed, two sided OR maybe one sided feelings have passed, and here we are several months in still wondering, “what are we?”  Have you ever been in a quote “relationship”?  What is a quote “relationship” you ask, well a quote “relationship” is when you’re given your beau all the perks of a boyfriend/ husband yet for all we know you’re just a great friend with benefits to him.  Of course, when he is with you, calling and texting he’s yours but what about when you’re not around, does the world know you’re his?

As I watch reality television and I witness and experience real reality, you will find many women are in quote “relationships” yet uncertain if their beau feels the same. You will find women will spend months and even years in a situationship unsure of where they actually stand in that man’s life.  Now, an easy fix would be to just have the “talk” with the beau and figure this thing out. But I’ve found, some women are even afraid to have the “talk” in fear of hearing the truth, that in fact they are just a friend with benefits.

Are we living in a society where we are so anxious to be in a relationship that we throw morals, values, and even personal satisfaction away just to say we have beau?  If you ever grew up with an older brother or true male friends, you can easily see how they can make one girl feel like #1 but when the “talk” is had, they become mute.  Why is that? Well clearly they just aren’t ready, or perhaps they just aren’t ready for you. Either way, there is always that one woman willing to put up with the situationship when deep down we all know she wants the Prince Charming, Cinderella love story.

Has the stigma of being in your late 20s, early 30s and single oppressed us to the point we will pretend to be happy in our situationship, when we know this is just a waste of time? Has all of the Facebook and Twitter engagement post tormented us to the point we will put up with a half relationship then settle for a non-existent one?

Situationships are great, if both participants agree. However, if you know you want more and deserve more, it’s time to speak up and get what you want.  Reality may hurt but why soothe your ears with lies when your heart knows the truth and truth is, pretty soon you will be asking yourself, “How did it get so late so soon?”- Dr. Seuss

 

XoXo

Tileah Aisha