2012 Life Reflection

Confucius~ 
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

 

2012 has been such a learning experience and I wouldn’t take any of it back. Sitting here now about to enter 2013 I can honestly say for the first time in my life I look forward to the New Year in a positive light. Not in my usual, it’s a new year lets try and forget all the wrong and start brand new. I’m ready to continue my life and make it even better than it has been the end of 2012

 

The beginning of 2012 was a little rough for me. I was in a relationship that was going nowhere, with someone I barely saw. I hated my job, and dreaded waking up every morning just to go. I hadn’t been working on any of my photography or art related projects. I was just going through the motions. I knew I couldn’t continue to live my life that way, but was so stuck in a rut I couldn’t dig myself out.

 

I finally got out of that relationship and landed myself in another. Career and art still remained the same. Although happy now in this new relationship, I still knew it was going nowhere. This time I thought, I’m happy though, why not ride it out? After some time of being in this relationship, I got the courage to up and leave my job and start new ventures. I felt like I was finally happy. I was with someone I was starting to love and no longer going to a job that crushed me. I slowly began to get back into my art, and find “myself” within my art. Just when I thought I had it all together, my world ended. I had one of the most heartbreaking break ups in my life. Everything came crashing down on me. I hit total rock bottom. My life just stopped. I wasn’t working at the time so I had no real reason to get up and leave the house. Art was no longer important to me. I had no appetite and all I could bring myself to do was sleep. I had one friend who stood by me through out all of this and helped me get through this time. I don’t think he will ever know how grateful I am for him and that he really did save my life. When I finally started to get out of the “morning” phase, I gained my appetite back and now could no longer sleep. If it wasn’t one thing it was another. I got to the point where I was fed up with myself. I was angry with myself for allowing someone to have so much power over my life. I knew then I had to make some changes. It was going to be hard and take a huge effort on my part, but I knew it had to be done.

 

With 4 months left in the year of 2012 I finally gained my life back. I began submerging myself in photo projects and sketching almost daily. I started to find peace in my art. I met a few people in the arts and developed real friendships. My Mom always told me that I need more friends involved in the arts and I never knew why that was so important. Just because I am an artist doesn’t mean all my friends have to be. But once again she knew what she was talking about. Having these new friends has pushed me to be even more of an artist than I thought I could be. I see things in a new light and I am excited to dive into new projects and expand my knowledge and I know have people I can do that with. I landed a new job as a bartender, and that too changed my life. I had a job I finally looked forward to going to everyday. It’s amazing how your job can change the whole mood of your life. The group of people I work with are amazing and we all connect so well and on a level I never thought I would with co-workers. I recently started apprenticing at a friend of mine tattoo shop. Something I have wanted to do for years and it has finally come to me. I look forward to continuing and growing with my art to have a living that I can truly enjoy, grow, and create a name for myself.

 

I’ve heard people say once one door opens the rest will too. This has been proven in my life. I have had one door after another open for me, and I am taking advantage of every step. With all these things finally falling into place, the little things have as well. For the first time in my life I can say I am truly happy and I am enjoying myself to the fullest. I look forward to what 2013 has to bring me and what I can take from it to continue the great energy, vibe, success, and ventures I have thus far. I can honestly say, 2013 is going to be my year.

 

Peace & Love

Gwendolyn Renee