15 Traits Men Look For In A Woman & Girlfriend

In light of “cuffing season” lets explore what guys are actually looking for in us women.  After doing some research on the matter, I’ve come up with a list of  traits that men are looking for. These are just a few “guidelines”, by no means am I saying change who you are, however you might want to keep these in mind when dating or are already in a relationship.

Confident in her own skin/Independence

A woman who knows who she is and is confident with who she is.  She has her own life, friends, goals, and holds on to them while with a man. She’s not sitting around looking for some man to sweep her off her feet, but she is looking for man who comes along that compliments her and her lifestyle.

Knows what she wants

A woman who knows what type of man she wants, the type of relationship she wants, and isn’t into playing games. If you know what you want then you don’t string the guy a long while you try to figure it out. This also falls in the category of wanting a woman who doesn’t take any crap. Not from her man, friends, co-workers, or strangers. She has her standards, morals, ideals and sticks to them. This also shows her confidence.

Clearly communicates

Men are not mind readers, we as women must clearly communicate what it is we want, like, need, and vice versa. Be straightforward when talking, because men are not translators either.

Respects/Admires/Compliments him

A man wants to feel like a man. I am not saying for you to become some kind of damsel in distress or not fend for yourself, but try not to emasculate them.  I know women want to be strong and independent, but it can’t hurt to allow your man to feel like he’s the only one that can get the job done.  Express to him that you are with him not for material objects or physical but for who he actually is, and it can’t hurt to throw in a non-physical compliment in once in a while.

Doesn’t need him but want him

You don’t want to come off as NEEDING a man. You don’t want him to feel like he is there just for some ulterior motive. You want him to feel like you want him there because he completes you and you actually WANT him there.

Drama, manipulation and pressure free

NO guy wants drama, so leave it in your past! Just like you don’t want a guy with baggage, no man wants a woman with baggage. Do not use your womanly ways to manipulate him into getting his time or money. The moment you put pressure on a man, he will flee. Doesn’t matter what that pressure is, it will cause him to fall back. If you aren’t receiving what you want from him then maybe he’s just not for you.

Likes and wants sex, desire them

Men want a woman who is comfortable in her sexuality and isn’t afraid to express it. Positively respond to him instead of rejecting him. He wants to feel desired, so no games and no playing hard to get. If you like him, let him know. You play too many games and it will confuse him and he’ll move on. It’s a turn on from him to feel desired by the woman he is interested in. No man wants to get in a relationship with bad or dispassionate sex. Show him you’re in to it. A survey done shows that 39% enthusiasm, 37% confidence, 17% creativity is the best equation for sex and as a reminder 57% say silence is a sexual downer.

A bit of advice, although he may want sex often, you don’t have to “put it on him” every time. 64% of men say exhaustion, stress, and packed schedules due to the workweek is a sex blockers. So I’m not saying don’t have sex during the week, but wait to blow him mind over the weekend when you can relax and really spend some time together.


Pretty simple, no guy wants a stupid girl. You can’t want to be over powering but he wants a girl with some brains and a good head on her shoulders.

Sense of humor

Be able to genuinely laugh at his jokes, make him laugh, and be able to laugh at yourself. Having the same sense of humor as your man is an important matchmaker. Sense of humor serves 3 purposes, diffusing awkward situations, shows common ground, and shows that you have a backbone.

Takes pride in her appearance

He’s not looking for Miss America, you don’t have to be a beauty queen, but you do have to take pride in how you look. He wants to be able to show you off to his friends, coworkers, and the world. He would enjoy the visual as well as being seen with you.  Although you want to put effort into the way you, don’t over do it with makeup, skimpy clothes, or time.


97% Men’s Health readers want a women who isn’t afraid to show her love in public. This shows a woman is comfortable in her sexuality regardless of the circumstance. It also shows that no else matters but him at that time in that moment. Now don’t over do it and forget you are in public. A gentle kiss, holding hands, brush up against him while out, a glance from across the room in a crowded party are perfect balances for PDA.


Friends (his and hers)

He wants a woman who can hold her own among the guys. His friends are going to be your jury, if you can’t pass the friend test, you may not last long. Keep that sense of humor in mind, and don’t be overbearing, let him be with the fellas the way he wants to be. During my research a great idea was to meet up with your man and his boys, have a beer (or if you can buy a round), hang out for a little while, then kiss him and say you’ll head out so he can chill with the boys and you’ll see him later. He will thank you for the time he sees you as well as having the space to hang out alone. You’ll also linger on him mind for the rest of the night.

Smooth the Mood/Support

Guys aren’t much of talkers, especially when it comes to their feelings or their problems. Don’t pry, but be there for them. You can ask what’s wrong or if they want to talk, but just listen. Sometimes that’s all they need, they wont want a problem solver, just someone to hear them out. If they don’t want to talk try to create a distraction. Go out and do something fun to take their mind off what’s bothers them. They will either open up on their own, or end up working it out on their own.

Don’t Make the first Move

Now this is a bit debatable. If you see a man, you are interested in, I say there is no problem with approaching him. He may be nervous to approach you. However, after that initial contact, allow him to take the reigns. You need to know he is interested. If he makes the moves, and takes the initiative to spend time with you it’s because he wants to. If your making all the calls and plans, you wont know if he’s there because he likes you or because you are convenient for him at the time.

Wait to Have Sex

Once you have found your man, don’t jump the gun and have sex with him because the mood is right or the time is right. Take this into consideration. During sex women release a hormone called oxytocin (“the cuddling hormone”). So after sex women, tend to get an extra affectionate with their partner.  If a women has sex too soon, she may create a relationship other than the one in the bedroom, and that can cause a guy to ditch. Its suggest to wait at least one month before sex, but for those of you who want to keep the “Three Month Rule”, there’s nothing wrong with that.


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Peace & Love

Gwendolyn Renee